The Sunday Currently, Uno

Okay, I know it's a Tuesday (my Monday shift) early morning. But forgive me on this one. I was so tired from my Sunday activities that I slept and woke up at 8am the next day! Whew! So here it is, my first Sunday Currently.

Reading
Work emails. Yep.

Writing
I have this crazy idea of creating messages that should be read by people when I die. It's in my draft section and for regular update. So people, if I indeed die and you see this post, you know what to do.

Listening
Office noise... a very faint one and few vehicles at EDSA

Thinking
What time I should sleep and wake up to run

Smelling
Nothing specific, maybe myself? LOL

Hoping
That I will be able to run 45 minutes later

Wearing
Blouse and slacks, my work clothes

Loving
Him! Sino ba kamo? Basta sya!

Wanting
A piece of cake #ihatesweets LOL

Needing
Still some hugs. Someone to tell that everything will be alright

Feeling
Excited and anxious for my FIRST 10k race on Sunday. I was able to run that distance last Saturday and still can't believe at the results (see below)

Join The Sunday Currently link-up by siddathornton!

The Sunday Currently Trial

I would like to revive my blog to document some of those I've said while talking to myself (I am so sure you talk to yourself, too! Lol!)

Then got this idea from celebrity Maine Mendoza on publishing weekly blogs called The Sunday Currently. This was created by siddathornton to publish what is 'currently' happening to ones life. What a good idea! We as adults tend to either focus at the past and/or the future while ignoring what is happening NOW!

The post is supposed to be simple, not sure though if it really is for me lol! But I should answer the following:

• Reading (Okay, I don't read books so this may be hard)
• Writing
• Listening
• Thinking
• Smelling (hmmm.. myself? Lol!)
• Wishing
• Hoping
• Wearing
• Loving
• Wanting
• Needing
• Feeling

So let's see, it's not yet Sunday but let me consider this as a practice.

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Reading

My project plan at work. Well, yes, I am currently at work lol!

Writing

This blog!

Listening

Okay, this may be weird to some, but I am listening to a recorded AM radio program

Thinking

How to plot the process document for my project (again, I am at work)

Smelling

3-in-1 coffee that I just drank

Hoping

That I can keep myself awake tonight and finish my target run later

Wearing

Blouse and slacks, my work clothes

Loving

The fact that I will be able to fill my condo unit with house stuff!

Wanting

To run! Finish 10k on Saturday!

Needing

Some hugs. Someone to tell that everything will be alright

Feeling

I honestly don't know. Nothing? 

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There! Let's see if I can sustain this. Good night!

A Comeback Blog: When I Die

What a comeback, right? LOL! Well, it's been YEARSSSS since I've posted something here. A lot has happened which I choose not to elaborate (It's almost weekend and I'm bit tired).

So.. I made this a few weeks back and would like to post it somewhere that my sisters may read in case they want to have a reference.

(Update as of November 26, 2017)

This will be updated from time to time until either make up my mind or die, whichever comes first.

I still have my St. Peter plan, it’s mine. Contact Jong Menchavez (a friend and former colleague in Davao) as he knows who So if I die before my dad, use it. The free 4 days should be enough to process everything.

I prefer cremation but if it’s more expensive than burial, then the latter will do.

I don’t care about what you’ll do to me because I won’t know if anyway. So it can be as crappy as it can.

You don’t need to post how I was on social media because, again, I won’t know it anyway. Others won’t care either. Well, maybe my family.

If you wish to visit at my wake, do not expect people to serve you. We are a small family, independent at that. Most if not all of my friends are educated and professionals, just help yourselves. Also, don’t expect that my wake will have lots of food or have food at all. You have jobs, feed yourselves. We are still relatively poor and won’t afford additional expenses.

Lastly, on my tombstone, I want this written - I’ve lived my life based on my decisions and I take full responsibility. You should too!

(Update as of December 13, 2017)

I am just reminded of my wish right after declaring dead, to have all healthy parts donated to the most needed children, mothers or breadwinners. It'll be my family's option if they want to know the identity of the recipients, but what I would like to request to the latter -- pay it forward.

Am I Getting Impatient?

Sometimes... err.. okay oftentimes I envy women in relationships, be it boyfriends or husbands because I thought, a few years ago, I will have a family of my own when I get to this age.

I remember thinking about my own wedding, how it will be, what the concept will be, songs, food, guests, venue, the pastor and a lot of details. There came a time that I thought it will come true in the nearest future...  but then I woke up to a nightmare.

I still dream of it coming true, but am I getting impatient? Why do I always ask myself on when it will be or who that man is? Is it because of my physical appearance? Well, I know that I am not attractive even when I was still thin.

I guess I will still be asking the same question in a long time.

courtesy of www.hollywoodtoysandcostumes.com

April, A Picture at a Time

Because of Leo's latest news, I got the urge to post something again after some time... and to introduce my new 'craze', #PhotoADay :)

I've seen some posts from my Facebook friends and wanting to start one since November of last year but just got the interest to really do it this month.

So the 'game' goes like this, there are sort of picture requirements daily for the whole month and all you have to do is to take a picture to satisfy that requirement... with a simple explanation of course.

For April, below are the picture requirements:

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10200411889451949&l=662e9fed78

Okay, for this blog to have a bit of a life again hehe, I'll update this post daily with the pictures. You may want to follow suit :)

Happy picture taking! :)

Day 1 - Play: Adik Mode Lang :)

Day 2 - Blue: This was actually taken the day before when i went to SM Lanang Premier for dinner. I didn't watch a movie though :)

Day 3- something beginning with A: the Altec Lansing speaker set our team used for almost 6 years. Though we already replaced it with two new ones, we still can't deny that it served us very well. :)

Day 4 - this happened today: ChrisSabs strikes again!
A regular work day when suddenly Karl sent a message through skype. Apparently, it was Chris who sent it! Kudos, ChrisSabs!!! wahahahaha!

Four Years

Four years... it's been four years. For those close to me, they know every bit of what happened four years ago. Yes, each day was a struggle because I went back to square one. Actually, I was at square one for quite some time. There are some instances that I went a few steps but got back. Most of the time, I stare at nowhere, like someone looking through a brick wall then tears come down to my eyes. I cannot explain the pain I felt that time... pain that I kept inside. It was overflowing that even when I tried to hide it, it just came out naturally.

I tried moving on and just forget everything but it's like a ghost haunting me at every picture, song and recent memory I had. For quite sometime, I felt angry and bitter. Then pitied myself. Maybe I still feel bits of those until now, I admit.

I am not saying that I have moved on. Someone once told me that there's no such thing as moving on, just getting used to the pain and deciding to go on with your life. Maybe everything that I am doing now is to prove that I can be better now or making him regret what he did or a defense mechanism... or all. However one thing is for sure, my Big Dad, my dear Lord God gave me the strength and courage to go on and move forward.

This (pointing at myself) is still a work in progress. Whatever I've achieved and done since four years ago, it's because of my decision of moving forward. I'm not saying I don't feel anger, sadness, bitterness and emptiness. I feel that everytime! I am not saying that what I'm doing is the right way. But what I know is I feel better. For now, that's what's important.

May God guide my path.

Three Times the Confusion

I know... it's been ages since I shared something in the web. Maybe I just lost interest or don't want to be misinterpreted which happens most of the time.

Last week was same as the previous ones - toxic, except for two events:

1. There was a Sagala theme day in the office, and the group chose to join... and we won! :) Thanks to everyone who made it possible. One thing that made me stressed out was the "requirement" of dressing up. I think it's more stressful than attending meetings and making reports, just because I am not used to it.

I knew of the requirement on Tuesday and the event was on Friday. I didn't do anything though until Wednesday afternoon after I got confirmation. Got a cellphone number from a co-worker but hesitated to go there because of the rent price - 1k for a gown rent?! But I just had to do it because it's part of the judging criteria.

I didn't get any response from the contact but I just can't go out because of work requirements. It was only Thursday afternoon that I am forced to look for a dress. Went to three shops before I got the first dress that matched the "requirement" - Filipiniana which was also cheaper. What's funny and embarrassing though was what happened before that. Being the "lampa" that I am, I tripped on a hump and saw myself almost kissing the asphalt road in Bajada. That caused my injury which I have until yesterday (It still hurts but already bearable).

Anyway, the event pushed through with me in a brown modern filipiniana dress, made up which is very uncommon. Almost everyone liked how I looked but I was just uncomfortable with it. Oh well, our team won so I think it's worth it. :)

2. I was chatting with my boss when she suddenly asked me questions that lead to an offer. Then I was told that it was announced in a meeting. Confused, I asked a long-time friend for advise. He gave some but I am not satisfied. Talked to one of my mentors and he made me think more, most especially when he mentioned that he'd love me to be his partner in crime. I was not forced to give an answer so I told myself to wait for it to be asked again. Later that day, she sent me an email regarding her plans. It made me more confused but made me smile.

I have not reached a concrete decision yet because all have its pros and cons. My decision may literally change my life.

Anyway, I still have the whole day to think of it. Tomorrow's a new week and I'm looking forward to challenges that it will bring. I might have felt exhaustion at times, but pressures and stress give me this sort of vibe to face it more.