Sunday, June 2, 2013

Am I Getting Impatient?

Sometimes... err.. okay oftentimes I envy women in relationships, be it boyfriends or husbands because I thought, a few years ago, I will have a family of my own when I get to this age.

I remember thinking about my own wedding, how it will be, what the concept will be, songs, food, guests, venue, the pastor and a lot of details. There came a time that I thought it will come true in the nearest future...  but then I woke up to a nightmare.

I still dream of it coming true, but am I getting impatient? Why do I always ask myself on when it will be or who that man is? Is it because of my physical appearance? Well, I know that I am not attractive even when I was still thin.

I guess I will still be asking the same question in a long time.

courtesy of

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

April, A Picture at a Time

Because of Leo's latest news, I got the urge to post something again after some time... and to introduce my new 'craze', #PhotoADay :)

I've seen some posts from my Facebook friends and wanting to start one since November of last year but just got the interest to really do it this month.

So the 'game' goes like this, there are sort of picture requirements daily for the whole month and all you have to do is to take a picture to satisfy that requirement... with a simple explanation of course.

For April, below are the picture requirements:
Okay, for this blog to have a bit of a life again hehe, I'll update this post daily with the pictures. You may want to follow suit :)

Happy picture taking! :)

Day 1 - Play: Adik Mode Lang :)

Day 2 - Blue: This was actually taken the day before when i went to SM Lanang Premier for dinner. I didn't watch a movie though :)

Day 3- something beginning with A: the Altec Lansing speaker set our team used for almost 6 years. Though we already replaced it with two new ones, we still can't deny that it served us very well. :)

Day 4 - this happened today: ChrisSabs strikes again!
A regular work day when suddenly Karl sent a message through skype. Apparently, it was Chris who sent it! Kudos, ChrisSabs!!! wahahahaha!

Monday, November 12, 2012

Four Years

Four years... it's been four years. For those close to me, they know every bit of what happened four years ago. Yes, each day was a struggle because I went back to square one. Actually, I was at square one for quite some time. There are some instances that I went a few steps but got back. Most of the time, I stare at nowhere, like someone looking through a brick wall then tears come down to my eyes. I cannot explain the pain I felt that time... pain that I kept inside. It was overflowing that even when I tried to hide it, it just came out naturally.

I tried moving on and just forget everything but it's like a ghost haunting me at every picture, song and recent memory I had. For quite sometime, I felt angry and bitter. Then pitied myself. Maybe I still feel bits of those until now, I admit.

I am not saying that I have moved on. Someone once told me that there's no such thing as moving on, just getting used to the pain and deciding to go on with your life. Maybe everything that I am doing now is to prove that I can be better now or making him regret what he did or a defense mechanism... or all. However one thing is for sure, my Big Dad, my dear Lord God gave me the strength and courage to go on and move forward.

This (pointing at myself) is still a work in progress. Whatever I've achieved and done since four years ago, it's because of my decision of moving forward. I'm not saying I don't feel anger, sadness, bitterness and emptiness. I feel that everytime! I am not saying that what I'm doing is the right way. But what I know is I feel better. For now, that's what's important.

May God guide my path.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Three Times the Confusion

I know... it's been ages since I shared something in the web. Maybe I just lost interest or don't want to be misinterpreted which happens most of the time.

Last week was same as the previous ones - toxic, except for two events:

1. There was a Sagala theme day in the office, and the group chose to join... and we won! :) Thanks to everyone who made it possible. One thing that made me stressed out was the "requirement" of dressing up. I think it's more stressful than attending meetings and making reports, just because I am not used to it.
I knew of the requirement on Tuesday and the event was on Friday. I didn't do anything though until Wednesday afternoon after I got confirmation. Got a cellphone number from a co-worker but hesitated to go there because of the rent price - 1k for a gown rent?! But I just had to do it because it's part of the judging criteria.
I didn't get any response from the contact but I just can't go out because of work requirements. It was only Thursday afternoon that I am forced to look for a dress. Went to three shops before I got the first dress that matched the "requirement" - Filipiniana which was also cheaper. What's funny and embarrassing though was what happened before that. Being the "lampa" that I am, I tripped on a hump and saw myself almost kissing the asphalt road in Bajada. That caused my injury which I have until yesterday (It still hurts but already bearable).
Anyway, the event pushed through with me in a brown modern filipiniana dress, made up which is very uncommon. Almost everyone liked how I looked but I was just uncomfortable with it. Oh well, our team won so I think it's worth it. :)

2. I was chatting with my boss when she suddenly asked me questions that lead to an offer. Then I was told that it was announced in a meeting. Confused, I asked a long-time friend for advise. He gave some but I am not satisfied. Talked to one of my mentors and he made me think more, most especially when he mentioned that he'd love me to be his partner in crime. I was not forced to give an answer so I told myself to wait for it to be asked again. Later that day, she sent me an email regarding her plans. It made me more confused but made me smile.
I have not reached a concrete decision yet because all have its pros and cons. My decision may literally change my life.

Anyway, I still have the whole day to think of it. Tomorrow's a new week and I'm looking forward to challenges that it will bring. I might have felt exhaustion at times, but pressures and stress give me this sort of vibe to face it more.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Last Working Day of 2010

It's been a while since I posted something here. I tried a couple of times but didn't manage to finish something. Basically, it was work that ate my time and the stress and exhaustion around it.

Before I left for Manila last Christmas, my life was blank - boring was an understatement. I didn't have anything to do except work, and put too much effort on it. You might ask why, but I can't really tell. Getting messages from friends in Manila for reunions/get togethers/meetups made me more than excited. At last, I'll get my life back! That's what I was, going out with friends, eating, chatting and singing with them were just some activities we do.

After the Christmas eve service at church, I went to Damosa to buy cake for my team and eat dinner. Then went back to work to finish a report due that day. Nothing special in the office, aside from the Christmas dinner. Greeted everyone a Merry Christmas at midnight, posted greetings in twitter and talked to a friend who's in Saudi through Skype. For a while, I felt that I was an OFW too... no families nor long-time friends around, just workmates and newly-found friends. Also ate with the GY members to at least feel that I have family that night.

Then came 2am. Still working on my report, I received a phone call and email message that calls coming in are way above the forecast that they need our team to help. So I asked the team to take in calls until further notice. The call volume was so high that made the site director go the office and check on things. Stress was in the air again, i told myself. What made it more stressful is the "magnified mistakes" made by the members. Good thing I was there, if not, there would be attrition on Christmas day.

Instead of my plan of just finishing the report and rest the whole night, my last day in Davao was just like any other day in the office, full of pressure. Well, this is what I chose and love to do, so be it and bring it on! \m/

Monday, August 30, 2010

A Dream

I can’t remember the last time I had a dream as vivid as what happened last Sunday.

I was looking at a wide, green field then saw the man I secretly love driving a tricycle with lots of food, children and his current love as passengers. It is observed that he’s struggling in driving. The tricycle just passed by but he looked at me.

The next “scene” was in a room with a make-up artist. I was wearing a wedding gown and preparing for my wedding. After putting on my veil, I noticed that it touched my lips causing a lipstick stain on it. I called the attention of the make-up artist but she said that it’s just okay then I went down the stairs.

It was “bitin” but I woke up smiling and I don’t know why.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

IM Crew

Try this...

About Me

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Davao City, Philippines
Life goal is to please Him and glorify His kingdom!

Count It!